


Not All Who Wander

by alexcat



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-25
Updated: 2013-06-25
Packaged: 2017-12-16 04:03:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/857557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexcat/pseuds/alexcat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A visitor comes to Imladris and Erestor wants no part of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not All Who Wander

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: Larian Elensar  
> For Perky.

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost 

Gildor never stayed in one place more than a few days at a time. He was many things: musician, spy, messenger, just to name a few. It had been many years since he’d been to Imladris. He and his band of companions arrived early in the day. They were met by Glorfindel as they crossed the bridge. 

“Good day, Gildor. It has been long years since we met!” 

Gildor bowed to the other elf. He had known Glorfindel in his former life, so long ago and so far away in the lost city of Gondolin.

“It is always good to see you, my friend! We’re seeking shelter for a few days and I thought to visit Imladris and hear what news you have in this part of Arda. We have been moving for quite awhile and thought to rest with Lord Elrond for a few weeks’ time.” 

Glorfindel smiled. He liked Gildor and loved the fun his troupe always brought when they visited. It reminded him of the wonderful days in Gondolin before Maeglin arrived. There had been dancing and singing and sometimes they’d celebrated as if the party would never end. Maybe they celebrated because they had always known that it _would_ end and end badly. 

In any event, Gildor was here and it was time to enjoy life. 

Elrond was already outside when they came into the courtyard, Glorfindel and Gildor with his caravan of wagons, horses and various and sundry animals and elves. Gildor hopped down out of the first of the wagons and smiled widely as he hugged Elrond. 

“It has been too long, much too long!” 

“I am glad you’re here. It is always good to see you. I’ll have Erestor to ready some rooms for you all.” 

“We can stay in our wagons.”

“Not when we have room for you. Enjoy it while you’re here. You spend enough time sleeping in wagons as it is.” 

Gildor’s elves began to climb down from their wagons. While Gildor himself was Noldor, his band was made up of elves from all groups and there were even a few humans in the mix. Many of them carried musical instruments as they disembarked from their various vehicles. 

Erestor came rushing from inside. His face was flushed and he was almost breathless.

“Did you send for me, Elrond?” He saw the reason Elrond called for him as he spoke. “Gildor.” Erestor’s tone was cold. He had never seemed to care for the other elf but he declined from giving any reason if pressed for an explanation. 

Gildor smiled at him nonetheless. “How are you this fine day, Erestor?”

“I am well. I am having the south wing prepared for Gildor’s people,” Erestor said to Elrond. “I must get back to work to see that it’s all done.” 

With that, he turned and went back into the Last Homely House.

Elrond was puzzled as he always was at Erestor’s reaction to Gildor but he said nothing as he led his guests into the big rambling house. They all assembled in the Hall of Fire as servants brought wine, bread, cheese and fruit to the tables. Elrond, Glorfindel and Gildor all sat down around the same table. 

Elrond raised his glass. “To old friends!” 

They drank and conversation began in small groups all over the warm, comfortable room. 

“Is there news?” Elrond asked.

Gildor nodded. “Lord Círdan says more elves sail each day. The flow into the Havens is almost steady these days. His builders build one ship after another to ferry them home.”

“I have heard as much. Galadriel says our days here are growing short. Gandalf says that men will take our places as the rulers of this world.”

“Has Gandalf spoken of the coming of darkness?” 

Elrond nodded. “There is something astir these days.”

“We shall speak of this later. Right now, we should enjoy the fellowship and food you’ve provided us!” 

The elves ate, drank and reveled through the day and late into the night. All of Imladris came out to enjoy the lively guests. 

All but one person. 

Erestor. 

He was in his rooms, reading. He had no desire to talk to Gildor. He had hated the traveling elf since he was but a youth in Gondolin. Gildor had left them to die when he escaped out the secret passage the day that Glorfindel had led Idril and her child from the city through the same secret passage a few hours later.

He could never understand why Glorfindel had remained Gildor’s friend even after he came back into this second life. 

He’d been young but he remembered it like yesterday. Gildor had slipped away as Glorfindel fought his final battle with the Balrog. He had run like a coward and left one of the greatest elves in all of Arda to die. 

Erestor hated him. 

He was clenching the book he read tightly in his hands when someone tapped on his door. 

“Come.” 

It was Glorfindel. 

“May I come in?”

He nodded and his friend came in and sat down. 

“Why are you hiding here?” 

“I do not feel well.”

“You were fine this morning.” 

“I am not fine now. Will you leave so I can rest, please?”

Glorfindel rose. He looked perplexed but he did not argue. He nodded to Erestor, saying, “I shall see you tomorrow then. Elrond would have us spar with Gildor and his men and we are to draw lots for opponents.” 

Erestor knew that he would be expected to attend and to participate. He sighed. There was nothing to stop it but he only hoped that he did not draw Gildor to spar against. The temptation to run him through might be more than he could resist. 

*

The morning dawned bright and clear with a hint of the coming fall in the air. All of Imladris turned up at the practice fields. Archers adjusted their bows as swordsmen polished their already sparkling weapons. Glorfindel walked among them all with a pouch filled with slips of many colored paper. Each person would draw a piece from the bag and the elves with the same colors would spar if they were swordsmen and shoot at circular targets if they were archers. 

Erestor drew a brown slip of paper and found himself looking around to see who he was matched up with and, to his dismay; it turned out to be Gildor. He stood without moving until Gildor came to him and held out his brown paper. 

“It looks as if you’ll get your chance to beat me.” 

Erestor said nothing. 

Lindir called out each color and the corresponding elves took their places on the fields of practice. Elrond’s sons had drawn each other and were the first on the field. Everyone watched, cheering when either brother made a good move and laughing when they argued back and forth. 

Soon it was time for Gildor and Erestor to spar. 

“Why do you despise me so?” Gildor said as they bowed to Elrond and then to one another.

“I think you know,” Erestor growled as he went on the attack. His anger made him sloppy and Gildor got the best of him quite easily at first but Erestor persisted and they finally fought to a tie. Erestor not only left the field when it was over but he also went back to the house without a word to anyone, even Lord Elrond. 

Both Gildor and Glorfindel noticed his leaving though they did not speak of it to one another. 

Glorfindel and Elrond were the last combatants of the day and they took the field with bows and smiles. They fought hard and their jabs were accompanied by verbal sparring as well. The two gave each other a good natured ribbing as they went back and forth until finally Elrond pushed Glorfindel all the way to the fencing. 

“I would say that you are finished, my fine friend!” 

Glorfindel smiled ruefully and dropped his hands only to lift his sword and go after Elrond as soon as he turned away. The two fought again until Glorfindel had the edge, pushing Elrond back further and further until he lost his footing and ended up on his back with the Balrog Slayer’s blade at his throat. 

“Do you surrender?” 

“To you? Never. What would people say?” Elrond was smiling. 

“They would say that no one can beat the splendid Glorfindel of Gondolin and Imladris!” 

Elrond laughed and held out his hand to be helped up, which Glorfindel did. “Or they’d say I let you win!” He pulled Glorfindel’s arm around behind him and said loud enough for all to hear. “Or maybe they say never let up until your opponent surrenders!” 

Everyone laughed, including the opponents, and they all adjourned to the baths to refresh and clean up before Elrond’s fine cooks set a feast before the residents and their welcome guests. 

Erestor had slipped into the baths early and was back in his own rooms by the time the banquet was set to start. Elrond noticed that his valued counselor was absent and asked Glorfindel to fetch him. 

Glorfindel knocked on his door and opened it at Erestor’s bidding. 

Glorfindel was resplendent in his blue silken robes. He walked into Erestor’s room and sat down in one of the rockers by the fire. The two of them spent many hours here playing chess and talking over the problems of Middle Earth. 

“What is wrong, Erestor? Elrond is beginning to tire of your rude behavior toward Gildor and his people.” 

“Gildor is a fraud. He is not a brave elf as he pretends. He deserted you and the rest of us on the day we escaped Gondolin. He left us to die while you fought the Balrog.”

“Is that what you think?”

“It’s true. I was there. I saw him leave before anyone else.” 

“He did leave before anyone else but he went down a different passageway.”

“Yes, he ran and hid like the coward that he is.”

“No, Erestor. He ran down a different passageway, one that had the armies of the Dark Lord at the other end. Gildor was taken prisoner.”

“You died, Glorfindel. You only know what he told you. He lies.”

“Galadriel remembers that he was freed when Morgoth was finally defeated by the hosts of Aman. Gildor was in his dungeon.” 

Erestor said nothing but his thoughts were in turmoil. Had he really mistreated someone who didn’t deserve it? Why had Gildor never said anything to him? He asked Glorfindel those questions and the Balrog Slayer shook his head. 

“Those questions I cannot answer. I know not why he never told you what happened. How old were you then? I remember some things but I have no memory of you.”

“I was over fifty years old, just reaching my majority a few years before the fall.”

“Who was your family, Erestor? I do not remember that either.” 

“I do not know. I had lived in the King and Lady Idril’s house so long that I assumed my parents died in the crossing. No one ever told me.” 

“Come to the banquet. Tomorrow is soon enough to address these questions. Tonight we should make merry and enjoy our fine company.”

“I will be there soon. You go ahead.” 

Glorfindel left but Erestor never did. He sat in his rooms instead and thought of the past, a past that he’d refused to think about for many, many years. 

He had not lied to Glorfindel. He did not know who his parents were. He had been an orphan or so he thought until young Eärendil was born. Once he saw the baby, he suspected that he was not really an orphan at all. The baby looked almost exactly like him. He knew he must be his brother but who was his father? It was a question that was never really answered and besides believing Gildor to be a coward, he also thought that Gildor might know who his father was and kept it from him. 

Erestor slept little and early the next morning, there was a knock on his door. It was Gildor. 

“I have come to talk to you. Glorfindel and I talked late into the night. I think you need to hear the things I have to say.”

Gildor came into the room and sat in the chair that Glorfindel had occupied a few hours before. He nodded when Erestor offered him tea and the younger elf poured for the both of them.

“I am sorry about what I thought of you,” Erestor said in an apologetic tone.

“It is of no matter. You didn’t tell Glorfindel all of the truth, did you?”

“How could I tell him that we were lovers and you left me to die?” 

“So you do remember that. I wondered that you never, in all these years, mentioned to me anything about us being lovers in Gondolin.” 

“I was convinced that you were a coward and I wanted nothing to do with you.”

“I was not a coward. There were few cowards in Gondolin. I was sent ahead to see if that tunnel was clear. It was not and I spent more years than I could count under the ground in the dungeons of Morgoth.”

“I can never apologize enough for what I have said and what I have believed.”

“I loved you. Did you remember that?” Gildor reached a hand across the space between them and lifted Erestor’s face, looking into his eyes. “Do you remember the nights we spent together? I do. I remember every detail, every word, every embrace, every moment of pleasure.” 

The last words came out a whisper, a whisper that brought back pleasure so exquisite that Erestor had never allowed himself to think of it since Gondolin fell. His body remembered too. He turned his head away, blushing. 

“Do you remember my kisses?” Gildor purred. “Or how my mouth felt on your hot skin?”

“Do not do this.” Erestor practically moaned the words. 

“Why not? We can have it again. All you have to do is stand and let me remove your robes; let me touch you like I did then. I have never forgotten.”

“Neither have I.” 

Erestor stood and within minutes, they were both naked and tangled in the sheets of Erestor’s narrow bed. Erestor briefly wondered if he’d locked the door but Gildor swept all thought away with a kiss and it was hours later when he thought of it again. 

“We should get up,” Erestor said as he threw the sheets back. 

“Why? We have nowhere to be.” 

“Elrond, Glorfindel. They’ll wonder where we are.” 

“I suspect they’ll figure it out.” Gildor rolled over on top of Erestor. “Now stop talking and kiss me again. I’ve waited hundreds of years for this and I mean to drink my fill of you.” 

Hunger finally drove them from their bed and into the company of the other elves. Erestor was red with embarrassment as they sat down at the table for dinner. He tried not to look at the grins on most of the other elves at the table. 

“We’ve missed you, Gildor. Where have you been since early this morning?” Elrond asked in the most innocent tone. 

“Erestor and I had much to discuss.”

Glorfindel snorted. “I didn’t hear any talking when I passed Erestor’s room a while ago.” 

“Perhaps we were drinking tea,” Erestor supplied. 

Glorfindel laughed out loud. “I’m sure that was it. Next time I will stop in for some tea myself.” 

Gildor couldn’t stifle his laugh. “You do that, my friend.” 

After the uncomfortable meal, Gildor asked Erestor to go riding with him. Of course he said yes and they were barely out of sight of the Last Homely House before they jumped off their horses and found a nice shady place to put the blanket Erestor had grabbed on his way out after changing into riding garb. His garb and Gildor’s were thrown in the bushes almost as quickly as they fell together on the blanket and were soon lost in each other. 

Later, they lay naked on the blanket and drank wine from a wineskin that Gildor had managed to bring along. 

“Was Idril my mother?” Erestor asked abruptly as Gildor pushed a damp tendril of his black hair off of his face. 

“Yes. She tried to hide it but many of us knew. You were born before she married Tuor, before she met him actually.” 

“Who was my father?” He looked into Gildor’s eyes. 

Gildor looked away before answering. “I do not know. Idril never told anyone that I know of, not even her father.” 

“But you know?”

Gildor still did not look at him.

“Tell me?” 

Gildor pulled Erestor into his embrace and kissed him. “I will tell you if you promise me that nothing will change, that you will not change.” 

Erestor’s heart pounded. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know but he nodded. 

“Maeglin was your father.” 

“Did he rape my mother?” 

Gildor sat up and shook his head. “No. No, he didn’t. When his parents died, he was quite distraught. She felt sorry for him and though she didn’t love him and never would, she took him to her bed to comfort him. He stayed with her for several weeks, unknown to her father. None of us were supposed to know but we did.”

Erestor said nothing. Indeed he had paled to the point that Gildor feared he would faint. 

“Your father was quite beautiful. He looked like a fallen star. His heart was black but I do believe he loved your mother.”

“How can I live with myself knowing this?” 

Gildor pressed him back onto the blanket and kissed his cheek. “You are who you have always been, my love. You are your mother’s son through and through. None of us can help who we are born to. All we can control is who we are, and you are beautiful and I love you, have for more years than I can count.” 

“I think I still love you too.” 

“You only think so?” Gildor asked playfully. “Then I must convince you some more.” 

His mouth found Erestor’s and his hands touched places that made the other elf moan in pleasure first then in ecstasy as they spent the rest of the afternoon trying to make sure that Erestor did indeed love Gildor. 

By nightfall, Gildor was convinced enough to dress and ride back into Imladris with Erestor but as soon as dinner was done, he found he needed to be convinced at least once more before they finally slept in one another’s arms. 

~end~


End file.
